Here we go!
It has been a while since I have posted anything BJJ related in some time. My lack of activity and blog posting has been largely due to the fact that I had been debating whether or not to compete this upcoming weekend. I think the decision was made to participate in this weekend’s tournament long before my conscious mind would cooperate and realize it. It was in an attempt to not psych myself out that I didn’t post about it on here. In the past when I’ve competed I have loudly stated it on here and I feel like this might set me in the wrong mindset so I decided to try something a little different. 🙂
The past month has been rather busy. I’ve been trying hard to stay on target with my eating habits, training schedule, conditioning, and lifting. My training has been going relatively well, but it has not been without plenty of frustration. I’ve been having a lot of issues with my knees lately. They have been bruising at the drop of the hat but also are extremely sore from time to time. So sore, in fact, it can make rolling and drilling difficult. One day a couple of weeks ago I became upset and frustrated with myself because of this fact and ended up tearful on the car ride home. I am not sure exactly what I think I can do to keep my body from doing what it will. Problem is that I become more frustrated that I’m crying that it makes me cry more. 😦
A couple of weeks ago, I solicited some advice from my coach about my game and how to best approach the upcoming tournament. He encouraged me to strive more to work my top-game. He let me know that I instinctively work my guard and have a tendency to stay there rather than working sweeps. I took his advice to heart and have been very cognizant of not doing this when rolling in class. This has definitely made a difference. However, the other day I was rolling with my husband and he was purposefully stalling and laying on me in an attempt to remind me to keep moving and mimic what a possible match might be like for me. I became very frustrated and ended up tearful again after our roll. Now, this in no way was my husband trying to be mean but rather a way to help me work my game.
I realize that I am pretty hard on myself but I only want to continue to improve. I am working on not getting in my own way (much easier said than done). I’m very nervous for this weekend. The event is pre-registration only so my bracket is already up. The weight classes for this event are better than ones I’ve seen in the past and my weight division is 129.9 and under. This will be my first competition as a blue belt. I can’t image what I’m fearful of if I were to lose but there is something there for sure. I know it won’t be the end of the world but I am so incredibly nervous. There are four women in my division so I am guaranteed two matches. I get butterflies in my stomach now just thinking about it. I have hopefully done all I can to prepare and will just think about going out there and doing my best. We shall see…only 5 days left!