Dragon's Tale

Just another female BJJ enthusiast

Archive for the month “February, 2012”

Oh the pressure…

Went to BJJ and Kickboxing class last night. My frustration level has not subsided much. 😦 I realize the amount of pressure I’m putting on myself right now is not entirely realistic. I’m not sure exactly why I’m doing it. My mother reminded me today that there is no need for me to be perfect at the tournament this weekend and to simply do my best. She’s right, I know (don’t tell her I said that! :)). I just have this feeling like so much is riding on this…and I’m not even sure what this “so much” is.

I rolled with my friend, and the only other female who trains BJJ in our gym, last night twice. I told her before rolling to “put it on me” so that I can feel what a match might be like. She is definitely within the weight class for the tournament but is still smaller than the cut off so the girls I will compete against very well may still be bigger. I wanted her to give itΒ  her all because it would help me to get a better feel for my game in an actual tournament setting. I even assured her it was OK forΒ  her to muscle through me because that may also happen on Saturday. Let me just say…rolling with her last night SUCKED! 😦 I felt like I could not do ANYTHING. It was so utterly frustrating.

The experience has made me a bit more nervous…if my tournament matches look anything like my rolling looked last night, I will be so embarrassed! She and I talked about our two rolls after class ended and she made the point that when I started out on top I definitely had the advantage. I noticed this as well and so I’m definitely keeping this in mind. This does, however, mean that I will probably need to get the take down and we all know how well I do with that! I’m just trying my best not to get in my own way and psych myself out. I’m trying to be realistic about my strengths but also my weakness and areas that need more work.

Rolling with the guys last night was not quite as trying but I also asked them to “put it on me” as well. It was different than usual but I felt a little more confident. I’m sure this has to do with the fact that I train more with men. I tend to feel more comfortable and confident when rolling with the guys at the gym. This is why I have asked my female friend to please come to another BJJ class this week so that she can mop the floor with me again. πŸ™‚ Only 4 more days and all this anxiety and stress will be behind me one way or another.

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Here we go!

It has been a while since I have posted anything BJJ related in some time. My lack of activity and blog posting has been largely due to the fact that I had been debating whether or not to compete this upcoming weekend. I think the decision was made to participate in this weekend’s tournament long before my conscious mind would cooperate and realize it. It was in an attempt to not psych myself out that I didn’t post about it on here. In the past when I’ve competed I have loudly stated it on here and I feel like this might set me in the wrong mindset so I decided to try something a little different. πŸ™‚

The past month has been rather busy. I’ve been trying hard to stay on target with my eating habits, training schedule, conditioning, and lifting. My training has been going relatively well, but it has not been without plenty of frustration. I’ve been having a lot of issues with my knees lately. They have been bruising at the drop of the hat but also are extremely sore from time to time. So sore, in fact, it can make rolling and drilling difficult. One day a couple of weeks ago I became upset and frustrated with myself because of this fact and ended up tearful on the car ride home. I am not sure exactly what I think I can do to keep my body from doing what it will. Problem is that I become more frustrated that I’m crying that it makes me cry more. 😦

A couple of weeks ago, I solicited some advice from my coach about my game and how to best approach the upcoming tournament. He encouraged me to strive more to work my top-game. He let me know that I instinctively work my guard and have a tendency to stay there rather than working sweeps. I took his advice to heart and have been very cognizant of not doing this when rolling in class. This has definitely made a difference. However, the other day I was rolling with my husband and he was purposefully stalling and laying on me in an attempt to remind me to keep moving and mimic what a possible match might be like for me. I became very frustrated and ended up tearful again after our roll. Now, this in no way was my husband trying to be mean but rather a way to help me work my game.

I realize that I am pretty hard on myself but I only want to continue to improve. I am working on not getting in my own way (much easier said than done). I’m very nervous for this weekend. The event is pre-registration only so my bracket is already up. The weight classes for this event are better than ones I’ve seen in the past and my weight division is 129.9 and under. This will be my first competition as a blue belt. I can’t image what I’m fearful of if I were to lose but there is something there for sure. I know it won’t be the end of the world but I am so incredibly nervous. There are four women in my division so I am guaranteed two matches. I get butterflies in my stomach now just thinking about it. I have hopefully done all I can to prepare and will just think about going out there and doing my best. We shall see…only 5 days left!

Something a little different!

So some friends of mine run a fabulous online magazine called Modern Ink Magazine. It is wonderful and I think everyone should take a look. Their new format is ground breaking! It is formated so that people can take in their loads of content in small doses at a time and be able to pin and share each individual article. It is AMAZING!

What’s more incredible is that I submitted some of my writing to them and one of my poems was published in their newest issue! πŸ™‚ Please take a look and feel free to leave comments and/or feedback!

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